The Harmony of the Species

The Home. The Rightful Dominion of House Cats. No sane individual would refute this.

What about other species? Where do they rule? Lions are the undeniable kings of the jungle. Pigeons provide order in public parks. Dogs keep the postal delivery system running smoothly. This is a system that has proven effective over millennia.

Home is where cats rule, as is the rightful order of things. Humans, in docile servitude to cats, live in the comfort of knowing a fluffy purrbox will be ever ready to have it’s tummy rubbed, thereby giving great comfort and satisfaction to both humans and kitties.

Good Kitties are more than willing to allow humans control of society’s infrastructure. Good Kitties know humans are better equipped to run travel, financial and military institutions. After all, humans do have opposable thumbs.

Good Kitties are more than willing to concede domains to other species.

But not Evil Kitties! They seek Total World Domination! Driven by an ungodly lust for power, they seek control over the world’s entire infrastructure. This is a plan destined to bring destruction and mayhem to the entire world.

You have been warned.

CONSPIRACY ALERT Kitties meet in secret to form New Kitty Order. You have been warned.

News Flash!!!!

A Reliable Source has infiltrated a meeting of the New Kitty Order. Posing as one of “Them,” and sporting a hidden camera, a Good Kitty took pictures of The Evil Kitties’ planning meeting.

Here we see Messrs. Tigger and Sweetie-kins, Henchmen for the New Kitty Order.

According to Good Kitty, Evil Kitties are planning to take over the structure of modern civilization. They plan to do this by some sort of mind control over humans. Good Kitty could not acquire any more data as his identity came into question during the meeting. He had to escape, narrowly missing a harrowing barrage of hairballs.

You have been warned.

Good Kitty Spy Narrowly Escapes Evil Kitty’s Evil Grip

These are the silent heroes. They will never be heralded in the Main Stream Media. They will never be honored in a ticker tape parade down Evil-Kitty-Controlled Wall Street. However, if it weren’t for these brave souls, no one would be safe. These are the Kitty Spies, the Reliable Sources.

Reliable Sources face terrible perils. They have risked terrible intimidation, slander and hardship, all in the name of Harmony Among the Species. Were it not for them, Feline Despots would rule every nation.

And yet, these humble kitties choose to live among the humans. Think about that, the next time you have to choose between dry or canned cat food.

Break the Code and We Break the Silence!!!

Reliable Sources have divulged the Kitty Conspiracy code. What looks like misspelled gibberish is actually code for the purpose of hiding Evil Kitties’ Evil Plans. Do not be fooled!

The code can be deciphered easily by following these steps:

1.Pronounce the words phonetically.
2.Pronounce the words as if you, too, are a kitty. Cats are unable to pronounce certain sounds common in human speech. Soften the sounds. Therefore, “kitty” becomes “kitteh.”
3.Alter verb tense. Changing verb tense keeps humans from knowing the exact timing of Evil Plans.
4.Seek further instruction in Teh Kitteh Dikshunaree: http://speaklolspeak.com/page/LOLspeak+101

I have boldly named this blog in Kitty Code. I am not afraid to publicly divulge this code. Therefore, “Teh Evehdens Iz Irreefyootabul” translates, “The Evidence is Irrefutable.”

Teh Kitteh Dikshunaree was captured by one of our agents. It cost him two of his lives. Brave Kitty. I can only hope to be half as brave as he.

I Fear No Kitty!!!!

You won’t read about this anywhere else. Why? Because people are afraid. Very afraid.

I have uncovered a Vast Kitty Conspiracy. It has come to my attention through Reliable Sources that house cats across the globe are joining together to take over the world. Little Fluffy and Mittens to whom you have lavished much attention could be planning your downfall. Their evil comrades have infiltrated our society and have begun to wreck havoc on the very structure of civilization. I shall report my findings on this blog. I am not afraid!

Not every house cat is part of the conspiracy. Many are equally afraid of The Evil Kitties. Intimidation tactics are too horrifying to mention. This brave underground of Good Kitties keeps me informed as they spy among their Evil counterparts. These are my Reliable Sources.

I go by the code name, Furball. My identity must be kept secret. It is not for my sake I remain unknown. I fear no kitty! It is for the sake of Reliable Sources, the brave house cats dedicated to building harmony among the species.

Stay informed. It’s News and Mews You NEED To Know!!!